Garland: Protest Same Sex Marriage, or DIVORCE?

I have one opinion on the gay rights controversy, and I know my opinion is correct, beyond a shadow of a doubt. Those of you actively fighting against gay marriage have waaaaaay too much time on your hands.

I don’t believe your real reason for fighting gay marriage is because you are sooooo concerned about the threat to the institute of marriage. If you were, you’d be protesting people like me. I have been married three times. Elizabeth Taylor and me are the biggest threats ever faced by the sacred institute of marriage.

Let’s not be a hypocrites. You don’t want gay marriage, because you don’t like gays. It’s that simple. You’re frightened by those icky things they do with their sexual parts. But, here’s another hypocritical part ... have you ever seen what them-thar “heterosexuals” do with their private parts? Whoa, talk about icky!

How do I know you’re being hypocritical in your “great concern about the pristine institute of marriage?” Well, that’s simple. If you have the ability to take time out from making groceries, taking care of your children, making dinner, worrying about two wars, the economy, crime, schooling, how to pay your bills and Angelina and Brad…then you certainly have time to picket in streets about divorce. You should be screaming to the high hills, ordering  the powers-that-be to make marriage as difficult as divorce. I ain’t seen one of you on TV with that sign, with that protest!

Now I want you to imagine “America the Beautiful” playing under this…in summation here are the words on high, taken from John Stewart (the most trusted “news” man in America today--the Walter Cronkite of today’s generation)…”It was just as our forefathers had envisioned, that one day people, who had been discriminated against because of their religion or the color of their skin, would come together to discriminate against other people for their sexual orientation without the slightest since of irony." A black woman said, ”In this wonderful land of America, as a female of African ancestry, I once-upon-a-time didn’t have the right to vote; didn’t have the right to a “say” in life. Now, I have the right, I have the voice, and I’m so thankful today, that the same-sex issue was rejected.” Say what??????????

I think I heard that intellectual argument back in the 60’s, when people whispered, “You give them 'Blacks' freedom, the next thing you know they’ll be marryin’ white girls! And you know what a slippery slope that will be for marriage!”  I heard those words at the same time all those devoutly religious people were holding signs that said the Bible and God say “No intermingling of the races.”