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T-Bob Hebert

Talk sports and more with T-Bob and Kristian Garic on "Double Coverage!"  

Weeknights 8pm-Midnight

Twitter: @tbob53
Email: tbob@3wl1350.com


T-Bob: Trimmer incident made me a modern-day Samson

Hello friends.

I come before you today a changed man.  In a terrible turn of events, I find myself beardless, and therefore somewhat powerless.  

My entire outlook on life has entered a downward spiral.  Where I used to see a beautiful, shining sun lighting a world full of possibility, I now see a flaming ball of gas that will one day murder the earth and all who tread upon it.  

A couple months ago, for my birthday, my wife got me a pretty nice beard trimmer (yes, gifts do get less fun the older you get) and I was relatively pleased with it.  I felt that if I learned my way around the machine, eventually I could save myself the trouble of going to get my beard trimmed while getting my hair cut.  I felt that if I learned what to do, not only could I save money but time as well. 

It all seemed to make perfect sense; little did I know the consequences that could occur while learning how to best use said trimmer.  I started out conservatively, for I was nervous about cutting off too much.  With this kind of caution heading into the trim session, how could I possibly falter?  

Well, this is a tale of overconfidence and my own hubris leading to my downfall.  

The first guard level I used was 15.  Obviously, this setting did not cut off much, if it cut anything at all.  This was the beginning of my self-assurance that nothing could possibly go wrong.  From there I made the jump all the way to a 9 guard.  Even at the 9, there wasn’t a clear, discernable difference in the beard.  Impatience was starting to gnaw at my heels  and I wanted to hurry up and get done with my self-imposed manscaping.  

All of these factors added up to me making the executive decision to jump all the way from a 9 guard to a 5.  Little did I know just how short the 5 actually was. 

 I’ll never forget, as I brought the trimmer to my face, I had a last-second flash in my mind that perhaps I should make a pit stop at the 7 guard and see how short that brought me.  I quickly waved away such thoughts as I now firmly believed in my ability to judge the different lengths of the guards. 

Immediately after the first swipe, I knew I had made a critical error in judgment.  I finished shaving the rest even as the tears flowed down my face.  I felt like Samson of the Bible; I didn’t realize just how much of my power and confidence came from my facial sweater.  

I have learned my lesson.  Never again shall I underestimate the power of the trimmer and its ability to take away from my power levels.  I sit here a man adrift in a sea of self pity and regret. 

For the next two weeks, I shall become a recluse, as I contemplate how to avoid this fate in the future.  

​Like the Phoenix, I shall rise from my self created ashes and soar as I once did… bearded and beautiful… until then, I shall attempt to learn from this experience and meet the man behind the beard.

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Locations : Phoenix

03/20/2014 4:42PM
T-Bob: Trimmer incident made me a modern-day Samson
Please Enter Your Comments Below
03/20/2014 4:55PM
T-Bob, I mean Samson
LOVE ur full beard, but u really are quite handsome. Remember ur power lies not in your "facial sweater," but between ur ears and in ur heart.
03/20/2014 4:58PM
Kristian or your Daddy
T-Bob I have to ask: were you going for the Kristian look or your Dad's look? I don't get the beard attachment, it will grow back before you know it. I think you should take this as a chace to explore a different look fo yourself. You cango for the bald look like Kristian OR the baby face look like your dad.
03/20/2014 9:35PM
Who cares
Talk about something interesting for a change and stop trying to sound to sound so biblical/ mid evil
03/21/2014 12:53AM
I like it
It looks great! Keep it short.
03/25/2014 3:31PM
Radio Personality
I guess you feel lucky that you're on RADIO and not TV.
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