Today, former New Orleans Saints player Darren Sharper was charged with two counts of rape by the use of drugs and five other drug-related felonies by Los Angeles County prosecutors.
In September, a woman in New Orleans told police that she was sexually assaulted by Sharper. In addition, women in Arizona and Nevada allege that they were raped by the ex-NFL player.
Investigators say they notice a pattern in Sharper’s alleged behavior. According to Los Angeles County prosecutors, Sharper met two women at a nightclub in West Hollywood and invited them to a party. On the way to the party, the women say Sharper brought them to his hotel room and gave them drinks. Both women say they passed out. One of the women said she woke up and found Sharper sexually assaulting her and the other woman said when she woke up she “interrupted” Sharper’s sexual advances.
In New Orleans, a woman claims that she consumed many drinks at several clubs before meeting Sharper, but told police that Sharper took her to his apartment where he sexually assaulted her without her consent.
Since only Darren Sharper and the women alleging sexual assault know the truth and since everyone is innocent until proven guilty in America, this is not the appropriate time to judge Darren Sharper’s guilt or innocence, but this is an appropriate time to talk about men and sexual assault – which is a softer way to label rape.
Rape is a horrific act that is often the result of male prerogative. Throughout the animal kingdom, the act essential to the propagation of a species is the male forcing sex (mating) on the female. Sadly, there will be those men who justify their aggressive sexual behavior as innate to the male species. But among the intelligent species of human beings, forced sex can never be excused as some sort of natural function of the male gender.
While there are obviously exceptions, men are generally physically stronger than women and possess the ability to control the outcome of a situation. Without suggesting that women are naturally victims, men cannot pretend to understand being in the position of not being in physical control another person at the time sex is desired. It should be noted that many totally ignorant and insensitive comments made about rape come from men – not women.
It may be true that some women claim they were raped when they are actually trying to justify a decision to have sex that they later regretted and in a perfect world, women who falsely accuse a man of rape should face criminal charges. The charge of rape can ruin a man’s reputation. Furthermore, false claims of rape only diminish the credibility of women who actually are raped.
Sex should be consensual and that means there is no misunderstanding as to the intent of either person. The idea of “getting a girl drunk” to ease her inhibitions for the purpose of having sex is a well-established method of operation for some males.
The two women alleging that Darren Sharper used drugs and alcohol to sedate them for sex brings up a very disturbing scenario – having sex with a sedated and motionless partner. If sex is the ultimate expression of human passion, how can it be satisfying if one person is unaware of what is happening at that moment?
Parents have the unique responsibility of teaching their sons, and daughter, to respect others and when it comes to something as personal and bonding as sex, there should be no compromise for complete respect.
However, parents cannot expect their children to respect the act of sex if they show no respect for sex. Single parents who are quick to bring home casual partners for a night of sex are establishing a lack of respect for sex. And the parents who think their children are nestled all snug in their beds are only fooling themselves.
In many households, the parent’s bedroom is near the child’s bedroom and children do not always sleep through the night. What makes anyone think that their children would not soon come to understand exactly what is taking place from the sounds emanating from behind closed doors?
Celebrities have been the victims of women who wanted to gain something from a night of sex by claiming they were raped. But there have also been far too many men who have used their physical power to force sex.
It is never a women’s fault if she is sexually assaulted, but women often have the opportunity to decide whether or not to allow themselves to be alone with a person they really don’t know.
The human race is intelligent and civil relative to the animal kingdom and therefore humans should always be expected to show complete respect – even in those situations where the male has the opportunity to be dominant.
Do you need to have a conversation with your teenagers – and maybe yourself?
Ar we assuming Darren Sharper comes from a single parent home, because from all appearances, he comes from a two-parent home.
Response from Scoot:
Not assuming Sharper came from single-parent home. I was just making the point about adults setting examples for their children, which is an important issue. Thanks for reading and responding to the blog!
Going to a second location hotel room or apartment
with a male acquaintance you don't really know is
a safety risk for a female. The behavior someone
might display in a public setting might appear to be
friendly on the surface but once you are behind a
locked door is another matter.
It ia a shame that this big football player who played under a dirty defensive coordinator greg has to go to such lows to so call score with a helpless woman. Shame is worse than angina behavior
Some women claim they were raped when they are actually trying to justify a decision to have sex.
What happened to waiting for a trial before they are declared guilty?
Thanks for bringing the issue up.