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Scoot Blog: Anti-bullying message-"Grow a pair!"

A mayor in California responded to a proposal before the city council to create an anti-bullying safe zone for students by saying most people “just have to grow a pair!” The comment went viral and Mayor Cameron Hamilton of Porterville, CA has been at the center of the continuing debate on bullying.

Mayor Hamilton’s “grow a pair” comment drew immediate reaction from Councilwoman Virginia Gurrola, who said, “It’s hard to just grow a pair when you’re a 10-year-old girl.”
The phrase “grow a pair” refers to growing the essentials anatomical parts that define the male gender. It means to “get tough.”

While I disagree with the crude, sexist suggestion to “grow a pair” – I actually agree with Mayor Hamilton.
Bullying has become the new excuse for everything from teens feeling left out to teen suicide. Bullying is not some new problem that young people have to cope with – bullying has always been part of life. That doesn’t mean bullying should be ignored, but the new power that bullying has gained seems to be leading to a generation of parents that are accepting bullying as the reason for a problem, rather than teaching their children to deal with bullies.

Teen suicides continue to increase and the tragic stories cause most of us to ponder – how could life seem so hopeless to a teenager that suicide was the only option?  Suicide at any age is tragic, but when we hear about teen suicide and think about how hopeless and distraught someone must feel to take their own life at such a young age, we are lost for an explanation.

I know what it is like to be bullied and to be made fun of and to be the last person picked to be on someone’s team.  I know what it feels like to be rejected by girls and snubbed by peers.  But I don’t know if bullying today, through social media that can be difficult to escape, is harder to cope with - or if young generations today have not been taught the basic survival skills we learned in the past.

It is imperative for every parent to teach their children the coping skills to deal with bullying.  The first simple lesson is that nothing anyone else says to you, or about you, can actually change who you are.
We now live in a society that has developed the collective belief that we have a right to go through life and not be offended by anything or anyone.  There will always be things that offend us in life and no one should expect, or demand, a world that is free of things that are offensive.

Teaching children to live in a world that can be offensive at times only prepares them for the real world.  When I think about the times I was constantly bullied and rejected, I realize that I am using those skills today when I feel bullied.  

Bullying doesn’t stop after you leave your teen years.  There are bullies in the workplace and in social settings – bullies are everywhere.  Failing to teach teens to handle bullying is failing to teach them a lesson they will take with them throughout their lives.  And trust me – I use those skills nightly when I deal with some of the texts that come into the show!

I don’t know whether it was taught to me by my parents or if it is something innate, but I never allowed bullies or rejection to define me.  In fact, when I was young and to this day, I take being bullied as a compliment.  If someone is going to the trouble to bully me – then I must be a threat to them on some level.  The truth is that no person is liked by everyone.  Acceptance of that fact goes a long way toward understanding how to put bullying into perspective.  Forty-nine percent of this country can hate you - and you can still become president!
Our quest to achieve a politically correct society has contributed greatly to the idea that we have this right to not be offended.  Younger generations have been protected and coddled by their parents’ generations to the point where they are no longer taught the emotional survival skills we learned.  

Dr. Keith Ablow, a FOX News contributor, wrote in his op-ed piece at FoxNews.com that the word “bullying” originated as a term used to describe aggressive actions on the playground at school and he believes the term for what occurs every day in social media should be elevated to the status of “psychological assault.”  The two girls arrested in the case of the teen who committed suicide are being charged with “felony aggravated assault.”
More important than updating the term “bullying” to better fit in a world dominated by social media is the focus that should be placed on teaching teens to cope with the bullying they will inevitably encounter in their lives.
We are also witnessing the application of existing laws and the introduction of new laws in response to the ways social media is changing the world.  If someone who is bullied commits suicide – should the person or persons who bullied that person be held accountable?  That’s a legitimate question, but a question without a clear cut answer.

Since it is estimated that 90% of the teens who commit suicide suffer from a mental disorder, it may not be easy to determine how much episodes of bullying contributed to a teen suicide.
A teen who commits suicide may have mental and emotional issues that go beyond being bullied.  It’s important for parents to stay in touch with their children on every level and probe their minds to understand what they are thinking and how they are processing life.

Over the years, certain music has been blamed for encouraging teen suicide. Today, bullying is being blamed.  
The inability to cope with listening to certain music or to cope with being bullied may actually be the symptom of the problem – rather than the problem.

The new attention placed on bullying is a positive development – but nothing will make bullying disappear.  Parents need to teach their children to deal with bullying – even bullying through social media – and as adults – we need to be strong and not allow bullies to affect our self-esteem.

 


Tags :  
Topics : Social Issues
Social :
Locations : CaliforniaCanadaPorterville
People : Cameron HamiltonKeith AblowVirginia Gurrola




 
05/21/2014 6:25PM
Scoot Blog: Anti-bullying message – “Grow a pair!”
Please Enter Your Comments Below
05/21/2014 7:01PM
Thought Provoking Blog
Unfortunately, if we tolerate bullying and don't present consequences, bullies will continue to be bullies. There should be consequences and pushback for the bullies, not merely their victims. And some bullies grow up and buy guns - and thats when you get things like George Zimmerman, the popcorn in the movies incident, etc. People with a bully mindset and the legal firepower to back it up. Shouldn't we shame and hold bullies to account? I think so.
05/21/2014 7:39PM
bully
scoot why do you bully minimum wage workers.its not nice to pick on the less fortunate
05/21/2014 7:41PM
Yep Obama bullies those he hates and uses his power to abuse them.
Scoot tolerates Obama.
05/21/2014 7:42PM
The whole bullying thing is way over-blown ...
People are lining up to be victims and are offended by everything that happens .... GROW A PAIR !
05/21/2014 7:44PM
Weak people raised by left-nut parents kill themselves ... it thins out the herd.
.
05/21/2014 7:46PM
This generation of cry-babies, whiners and victims could have never won WWII.
Thank God today's teens are not having to step up and do anything great or difficult.
05/21/2014 7:53PM
The massive incompetence of the Obama Administration continues to just get
worse and more exposed.
05/21/2014 7:57PM
Bully an Obama Zombie TODAY! They deserve it.
@
05/21/2014 8:09PM
Ignoring the Usual Trolling
Technology has made bullying worse. Private photos are posted publically, parents create fake personas to bully kids, parents tolerate racism and homophobia, passing those predjudices on to their kids and the same parents are acceptable with violence and "rebel revolutionary" pride and then we expect the victim to just stand up and deal with all of that? There are more ways with smartphone cams and the internet to bully, shame and "out" people or enact revenge on someone than ever. In that sense, yes, bullying IS worse. And talk radio (thankfully not WWL) features people who make a great living being bullies, calling people "s_luts" and "pinkos" and "commies" and "socialists." So what message are our kids getting from adults?
05/21/2014 8:11PM
Such a pathetic little man.
The VA scandal once again illustrates the incompetence of Obama and his total lack of executive ability and his complete disengagement in his job. He has followed the same routine with all his scandals first saying he read about in it in the news and knew nothing otherwise. He then holds a press conference saying how angry he is and how he will study the issue and then in time he just goes back to hosting hip hop stars, fund-raising and playing golf and no one is ever held accountable. In the real world—the private sector—Obama’s mismanagement and incompetence would get him fired, or even land him in jail for fraud. Sad we have such an embarrassment as President.
05/21/2014 8:14PM
Yep the monkey Obama is playing in his cage while Rome burns.
Typcial.
05/21/2014 8:19PM
glen beck
Is one of the best to represent the tea party. He is not afraid of social liberals. Good for him
05/21/2014 8:27PM
Glenn Beck
Is an ex addict that weeps too much, says God talks to him personally, and contradicts himself - one day claiming he wants to repent of his divisiveness the next day attacking all "progressives" as communists, fascists, etc etc. and allowing such things to be said on his radio network and site. Glenn Beck would love to live in a theocracy where only Christians could decide anything and the man hates democracy because it might allow progressives to actually vote and influence things - and he wants them to have NO influence or freedom to associate in society. Glenn Beck is also a liar - witness his comments on "FEMA Camps."
05/21/2014 9:57PM
Democratic Florida Rep. Joe Garcia — fresh off being caught eating his own earwax on camera
— was caught red-handed (or is it yellow-fingered?) in another gaffe this week, claiming that low crime rates in border cities with lots of federal immigration workers is proof that “Communism works.” Democrats such monkeys. Read more: http://dailycaller.com/2014/05/21/dem-congressman-weve-proved-that-communism-works/#ixzz32PRtq5Sb
05/21/2014 9:59PM
Speaking of summer camp ...
Coming this summer... OBAMA YOUTH FEMA CAMP! A great place for your kids to spend the summer! Educational and inspiring! Led by Van Jones and a certifiable staff, Obama Youth FEMA Camp is spread out on 20 acres of beautiful, environmentalist-approved federal land, untouched by civilization (except for construction). Your children will learn valuable life lessons from the works of Saul Alinsky and Vladimir Lenin. Your children will also learn valuable life skills such as: - Organizing - Chanting - Protesting - Joint Rolling - Bong Making - Welfare Registration - Food Stamp Collecting So join us for a summer of FUN! Registration begins April 30. EBT cards accepted.
05/21/2014 10:07PM
Oh, No! a liberal poster BULLIED Glenn Beck ....
Will Scooter SH!T on himself in a rage and write another blog and demand the liberal poster be sued, drawn and quartered? Will Scooter hold hearings on his radio show demanding that the bully lose his job and his membership in the Al Gore Climate Change Club? Stay tuned ...
05/21/2014 11:21PM
Troll Poster
You need new material. Go listen to Beck and rip him off, your act is old and you offer no facts.
05/21/2014 11:40PM
Tension
jethro and mrs Hathaway (mr moonie's secretary)of Beverly hillbillies
05/22/2014 5:43AM
Obama knows nothing, sees nothing, and hears nothing unless his lapdogs bark, then his ears perk up.
Obama is a dumbàss.
05/22/2014 5:45AM
Looks like the leftist troll poster wet his pants again.
such a scooter suck up ... lol ...
05/22/2014 5:49AM
I see the Leftist Troll Poster is still stalking boys on this blog ....
can't be too careful.
05/22/2014 5:52AM
Yes, the leftist troll boy has a real hard-on for Beck.
A homosexual stalker.
05/22/2014 9:11AM
Wow! It is true.
Scoot does have a real radio face. Need to keep that mug under wraps.
05/22/2014 10:28AM
Victims and racism.
Everyone discriminates—makes choices of what they eat, wear, where they live, and who they associate with. It does not mean one is denying anyone their rights or voting for some politician who would. Teens illustrates this every day forming various cliques at school. I guess according to black and liberal media commentators everyone is a racist. Democrats have prospered for years making victims out of as many as will allow it. Many black players in the NBA are racist by their own definition they put on others. Folks need to grow a pair and quit whining when the whole world does not love them.
05/22/2014 10:33AM
Possessing discriminating taste used to be a lauded thing.
Frankly a lot of young people and adults could use some and quit hanging out with wiggers that ruin their lives or even get them killed. The notion that we have to accept every behavior and everyone is rubbish.
05/22/2014 10:37AM
True.
When you have messed up as badly as Democrats and the Obama Administration has over the last six years, calling everyone who disagrees with you a racist seems like a good strategy to them.
05/22/2014 3:41PM
Bullying ... Companies cashing in on the Hysteria
Companies are cashing in on the bullying hysteria that has so many people desperate to become victims. Companies like The Walt Disney Company are running bullying awareness ads and sponsoring campaigns. Their message is clear. “We care more about bullying that do others so watch our shows and buy our products.” The sad thing about all this overblown agitation is that the few, real instances of someone actually being physically harmed by another get lost in people lining up to “cry wolf” just to get attention and perhaps get interviewed on television, or have an opportunity to bring a frivolous lawsuit.
05/22/2014 3:51PM
Anti-Bullying is the New Bullying ...
South Park, as often, was actually ahead of its time with its sendup of anti-bullying hysteria in the curriculum. But anti-bullying is really a Trojan Horse for moving leftist social issues deeper into the classroom. The constant parade of weepy studentsdiscussing how they were bullied is really a vehicle for attacking and outlawing religious values. http://www.frontpagemag.com/2012/dgreenfield/anti-bullying-is-the-new-bullying/
05/22/2014 4:01PM
Hold The Tea, I'm A Member of the Bourbon Party
What's happening in the Republican party is the worst of both the Tea Party and more traditional "free-market" (but never really as free as advertised) economics: an aggressive "pro-business" agenda combined with radically retrogressive social policies. You could even say at this point that the GOP isn't a big tent or even a coalition – it's a torus, an ever-expanding donut-shaped object that's empty in the middle. The h0le is where principles used to be, because flexibility comes at the price of purity. McConnell successfully neutralized challenger Bevin by being unafraid to grovel: he not only took junior Senator Rand Paul's endorsement and staff, for example, but he also put up with their eye-rolling (and nose-holding) in exchange for that support. There's a history to the GOP establishment simply absorbing insurgent movements and moving right. The GOP has co-opted individual leaders (like Ronald Reagan and Barry Goldwater) and even entire voting blocs (fundamentalist Christians). Each of those a$$imilations marched the party rightward to the point that, according to political scientists Keith Poole and Howard Rosenthal, the party today is the most conservative it's been in one hundred years.
05/22/2014 4:02PM
Bullying
It's fascinating you all are so hung up on a shallow interpretation of the word bullying you don't address the victims of private pictures posted on the internet - ex bf or gf revenge, indecent pictures sent around school of people thinking it was private. There are some extreme cases of technology used in a harmful way far beyond "words."
05/22/2014 4:29PM
Nebraskas Next Senator - FAR RIGHT
Ben Sasse - Sarah Posner at Religion Dispatches unearthed his doctoral thesis from 2004 and it’s a fascinating treatise on the origins of the modern religious right in America. Unlike most historians, he believes that the conservative movement grew up in the 1960s not out of rebellion against the civil rights stances of the Democratic Party but rather the “secularization” of the culture in the wake of the Supreme Court rulings banning school prayer and Bible reading. He even goes so far as to claim that rather than a cynical decision to stoke the flames of Southern racism with the Southern strategy, it was Richard Nixon’s deep understanding of the Christian culture that led him to persuade evangelicals and conservative Catholics to join the GOP and usher in the era of conservatism in the last decades of the 20th century. It’s a novel understanding of that history, to say the least. Most historians cite Nixon’s pursuit of blue-collar Catholics as part of the strategy to peel off working-class votes with racial resentment. But Sasse’s dissertation is evidently persuasive in at least some respects. But regardless of his level of accomplishment as a scholar, Ben Sasse clearly sees the world through the lens of a conservative Christian crusader. According to his website, he is a proponent of the most radical interpretation of religious freedom that’s in circulation today on the far right: Ben Sasse believes that our right to the free exercise of religion is co-equal to our right to life. This is not a negotiable issue. Government cannot force citizens to violate their religious beliefs under any circumstances. He will fight for the right of all Americans to act in accordance with their conscience.
05/22/2014 5:57PM
The Leftist Troll Stalker is spewing nonsense again.
He may die soon of a heart attack he is in such a rage. Beware of the Leftist Troll Stalker.
05/22/2014 6:00PM
I see the Obama þutt lickér is back. Guess he has a taste for DemWIT fecés.
@......
05/22/2014 6:04PM
Actually the Republican Party is the mainstream .... it is the Democrat Party
that has become so far left that they hate the country as founded. http://blog.chron.com/hottopics/2014/05/el-paso-proves-communism-works-says-house-rep-who-appeared-to-eat-his-own-ear-wax/
05/22/2014 6:07PM
funny post with the ear wax guy.
that may be the problem with the democrat party. they are eating too much ear wax. ha!
05/22/2014 6:21PM
Even leftist CNN Poll shows ... Majority say Obama's policies will fail.
The suggestion that Democrats are mainstream is délusional. Obama is a hÎp hop hoops guy and his skin is black and Americans cut him a lot of slack personally, but they reject his policies. Despite all the propping up he gets, he polls poorly. CNN/ORC International survey also indicates the number of Americans who hope that his policies will succeed has dropped 12 points since last year and a majority now predicts that his policies will fail.
05/22/2014 6:28PM
This leftist whacko poster seems to fear and hate Christians.
Pretty creepy person.
05/22/2014 7:35PM
New Record: Price of Gas Above $3 Gallon for 1,245 Days...
Bam-Boy continues to set bad economic records.
05/22/2014 7:39PM
318,000 federal workers owe $3.3 billion in back taxes, IRS says ...
explains further why the US government is corrupt ... a lot of dishonest folks work there.
05/22/2014 7:53PM
Biologist: 'Climate Change' Will Force Humans To 'Eat Bodies of Dead'...
another corrupt member of the science community chasing government grants by spewing wacko threats ... the left is cracking up big time ... LOL
05/22/2014 8:07PM
Obama continues to LIE about the VA scandal ...
It’s no longer sàtisfactory for Mr. Obamà to say he’s going to get to the bottom of things. Because number one, he never does. And number two, there’s just too many scréw ups.
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