Two people fall in love, get married and have children. Unfortunately, that wonderful thing called ‘love’ doesn’t always last forever and divorce is often the final course of action for two people who once were deeply in love.
The high rate of divorce over the past few decades means that many children will not be with both parents for Christmas. Will you get together with your ‘ex’ for the sake of the kids this Christmas?
Because of bitterness or distance, many families cannot be together for Christmas. I would hope that separated and divorced couples would be able to be together this time of your for their children. Many couples are so caught up in the issues that ended their marriage that they don’t think about that one special thing they will always share – children.
Having a civil relationship with your ‘ex’ is important for your children. Kids don’t want to go through life thinking they came from two people who hate each other. I can imagine that would be confusing and lead to insecurity. Children just want to know that they have two parents that love them and being together during a time like Christmas helps instill a needed security in children, especially when the children are young.
Can you…will you…do you get together with your ‘ex’ for Christmas? You don’t have to make gestures to give your kids a false hope that you might get back together, but there is something very positive for children if parents can act like adults and show respect for each other. I have been blessed to have spent many holidays with my son and his mother. When he was young I would always go over to the house on Christmas Day to watch him open his presents from Santa. When he was grown and moved to finish high school with me in Portland, his mom came to visit and we were all together for Christmas. I always wanted my son to know that he had two parents that loved him and despite our differences, we always respected and had a love for each other.
Parents don’t always act like adults! The bitterness, whatever inspired it, should be pushed aside and what is in the best interest of the children should be of utmost importance. That might mean that you ignore your pride. Every parent should do everything they can for their children and that includes letting go of the negative feelings you have toward your ‘ex’ and coming together at Christmas.
Even if there is someone new in your life or your ‘ex’s’ life, accept the past as the past and remember the most important things you do are the things you do to help your children in life.
I hope you have a Merry Ex-Mas!