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Scoot: Suicide Is Not an Option

10.15.12  scoot@wwl.com -  I was awakened this morning by a call from a friend telling me someone we knew killed himself yesterday.

Chris was a very attractive 37-year-old musician from England with a charming British accent. He played in a few local bands and built a successful business here.  He always seemed to have women interested in him, but not the right one.  Chris was apparently still upset over a past relationship and made the decision that life was not worth living without this person.

FACT:  I love women, but NO woman (or man) is worth killing yourself over.  I have gone through very difficult times and have thought that I didn’t want to be here anymore, but I never thought about actively committing suicide.  It’s selfish and it hurts those you leave behind.

To accentuate the horrific nature of suicide, this weekend a friend of mine got a call from her daughter’s teachers alerting her that her daughter had received a call from a 13-year-old friend who said he was going to kill himself and texted a photo of the gun.  The daughter was on a school trip…and teachers, my friend and the young boy’s parents…were all involved in a tense drama.

How can your life be so bad at the age of 13 that you threaten to kill yourself?  This is obviously a case of a spoiled teenager, who does not have the skills to deal with reality.  Using the threat of suicide to attract attention is appalling and seems to be a symptom of our sick society.  A young teenager who contemplates suicide is the product of parents who are NOT paying attention.

Many young people don’t talk about their internal feelings, but parents must recognize that and talk to their kids.  It takes effort to communicate, but every parent must be held accountable for communicating with their kids, even if their kids are not prone to openly talk.

The person I knew who killed himself and the 13-year-old threatening suicide have opened wounds that go back to a listener who committed suicide, because she wanted to have a relationship with me.  I had never been with her, but she followed me and tried to start a relationship.  When she finally realized I was not interested, she wrote a long letter blaming me before killing herself.  Her suicide had a lasting impact on me.  At first, I was angry.  But, later felt badly for someone who thought their life was meaningless without another person.

I have been through my share of relationships that left me feeling totally alone and distraught, but I always realized my life was worth something to me and my son and friends even if I was not with the person I felt I needed in my life.

I know how hurtful and difficult life can be, but suicide is not the answer.  I think we owe it to our children, our loved ones and our friends to pay close attention to any behavior that might lead us to believe leaving this life might be an option.

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10/15/2012 7:18PM
Scoot: Suicide Is Not an Option
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10/15/2012 8:04PM
so very sad
I'm sorry for your loss. Felt like your friend did a few years ago myself. Someone listened and got me some help. I'm glad they did . REALLY.
10/16/2012 2:26AM
Are you serious?
How can your life be so bad at the age of 13 that you threaten to kill yourself? This is obviously a case of a spoiled teenager, who does not have the skills to deal with reality Really? That has to be the most ignorant thing I've ever read. just because your life may not have been very hard at 13 doesn't mean it wasn't or isn't hard for others. Are blind to the suffering and abuse that a lot of kids have to deal with? don't talk about suicide if only garbage is going to come out of your mouth.
10/16/2012 9:24AM
"How can your life be so bad at the age of 13 that you threaten to kill yourself? This is obviously a case of a spoiled teenager, who does not have the skills to deal with reality." Thought you were more sensitive than that. In numerous ways could a thirteen year olds life be miserable, but in the least it could just be chemical. Depression is a disease PERIOD. To deny that suicide exist for a reason is to deny facts. There are always huge lessons to be learned when a life is lossed.
10/16/2012 5:38PM
So sad that people commit suicide because they cant get over a past relationship. It was a very selfish act that has been done. I only hope the girl in that past relationship is dealing with everything okay and not blaming herself for your friends actions and isn't going to get the blame of your friends actions. Sorry to hear for your loss and hope it stops there!
10/19/2012 7:16PM
I understand
Scoot, we share a connection to Chris. I was one of his good friends also. I don't know what to say, other than..I feel you pain. I also have the heart ache that won't go away. I have tried to rationalize why, but the ends don't match up. I don't think they ever will. BUT, we can focus on the good things about Chris, and hopefully you will be able to join us for his wake/service/party on Tuesday. FYI, his obit. is up on nola.com now. Cheers, Darryl
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